Stations of the Cross (Part 2)

Good Friday - Divine Mercy

Good Friday - Stations of the Cross

Holy Thursday, April 21

Retreating from the Pain

By Sue Elvis

From my diary:

23^rd November

… This last week has been so miserable. Only a future without Thomas lies ahead… I’ve felt like retreating within myself…

Thomas died 11 ½ years ago after 28 hours of life. But losing Thomas wasn’t our first experience of grief.

 I had already lost four babies by miscarriage, one after the other in the space of about eighteen months, a few years earlier. So many cycles of hope and happiness and then sorrow, one after another. I was on an emotional roller coaster and I felt like I was going crazy.

After the 4^th miscarriage, my sister arranged to visit me. I came home from the hospital knowing we would soon have a guest in our home. I felt I didn’t have time to deal with the grief. I couldn’t cry and express my sorrow when I had a visitor to look after. I decided I wouldn’t think about the grief. I would leave that until later when I was once again alone. I stepped back from the pain. I didn’t cry. I didn’t grieve. I didn’t feel anything.

My sister returned home but the time for grieving seemed to have passed. I had retreated so far away from my pain, I couldn’t get back. Life went on. I functioned. I survived. I thought I was quite all right. It didn’t really matter that I’d never cried a tear over my lost baby, did it?

And then one day I was at a mothers’ meeting talking to my best friend. Somehow the talking turned to arguing and a torrent of anger flowed out of me. My startled friend couldn’t understand why I was crying uncontrollably and getting very upset over a trivial matter. I gathered up my children and stormed out of the meeting to the great surprise of everyone.

The anger and tears were nothing to do with my friend. She just happened to be there when the dam burst and the grief I’d kept locked up inside me for so many weeks came flooding out. It was time to face the pain. I couldn’t avoid the grief any longer.

When Thomas died, there was a great temptation to withdraw within myself again, to retreat from the huge burden of sorrow that was bowing me down. I just wanted to get away both from the grief and myself.

But this time, I admitted to a friend how I was feeling; “It would be so easy just to draw back until I can no longer feel the pain.”

“But Sue if you withdraw from feelings of pain, you will withdraw from feeling anything. You will not experience moments of joy or happiness or hope. And it is these moments, however short, that will keep you going along that long and difficult pathway to healing. Yes, you will not feel pain. But you won’t feel anything good either. You will feel nothing.”

I cannot say I never retreated within myself while I was grieving for Thomas. There were moments when I no longer cared about the future. I just wanted to escape the present. But these times did not last long. I fought my way back each time.

I had to feel. I had to have hope. I wanted to survive.

Please share my stories at Sue Elvis Writes

Palm Sunday, 2011

May you all have a grace filled Holy Week of 2011

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING OUTREACH

CATHOLIC HEALTHCARE IDENTITY: MEDICAL AND PASTORAL STRATEGIES  

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING OUTREACH (NFPO)* 

NATIONAL SUMMER INSTITUTE 

July 11-16, 2011

“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other;” and, “It is Religion and Morality alone which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our people in greater measure than they have it now, they may change their Rulers and forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty.”   Read more here

                                       

 -Second President of the United States and Founding Father, John Adams

The Saint Charles Children's Home

ST. CHARLES CHILDREN'S HOME

In 1913, the St. Charles Orphanage opened its doors in Rochester, NH, and welcomed the first group of children to come and live there under the care of the grey nuns. Over the years, the name has changed and the sisters nurturing the children have implemented innovative programs such as group runs in order to provide outlets for energy and room for healing. Below, listen to Mother Paul Marie of the Daughters of Mary, Mother of Healing Love talk about the running program and how the grey nuns of Canada began the work of an orphanage in New Hampshire.

Links:  

Read the Parable story about the home 

St. Charles Children’s Home Web site http://www.stcharleshome.org/

Audio:  Mother Paul Marie talks about the history and beginnings of St. Charles Children’s Home

Mother Paul Marie talks about the running program and its impact on the kids.

Resource:  http://www.catholicnh.org/about-us/125th/audio/

Longing for a Child, God has all the Answers

*Something that you may think about with infertility support groups is a Bible study, with Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament or Mass/Benediction.  This may take time building such a support group but ask Our Lady to help you with opening the door of support with your priest/pastor and she will take care of the rest.  

Matthew 7:7-8

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Don't stop seeking God's presence, you will be surprised just what is waiting for you.

*Note to the reader, I'm not sure why this post is in all caps, as when I am typing this out I am not seeing it in all caps until it is posted.  Sorry if you think I'm shouting, as I'm not.  Blessings to you today and always. (Therese)

Have you ever imagined -

... just who exactly is praying for you?  

Our little world within ourselves, is pretty small, but in comparison to God's Church, there's a mighty ARMY praying and interceding for us at all times.  

Can you actually imagine that?  Wow, it's hard to comprehend what a treasure God has for His children.

If you are suffering, look to Jesus and quiet the depths of your soul and rest with Him.  He will bring you peace, hope and joy.

                        The Church Militant

These terms are often used in the context of the doctrine of the Communion of Saints; although Christians may be physically separated from each other by the barrier of death, they nonetheless remain united to each other in one Church, and support each other in prayer.

The Latin word militans has a primary meaning of "serving as a soldier, military", but it acquired a secondary meaning of "to struggle, to make an effort", which is the intended sense here. Christians on earth (the Church Militant) are still struggling against sin in order that, when they die, they might go to heaven and be members of the Church Triumphant, those who have triumphed over sin. However, if this struggle is successful, but not completely so, then after death they temporarily become members of the Church Suffering before ultimately joining the Church Triumphant.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Our Patron Saints, just to name a few..

St. Luke, patron of doctors

St. Colette 

conceived when her parents were near 50.                                         

St. Catherine of Sienna above

St. Gianna, wife, mother suffered difficult pregnancy

St. Therese of the Holy Face (spiritual mother)

Her parents suffered the loss of many 

children and Therese had to have a wet nurse

due to her mother's illness after her birth.

Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur & her husband Felix

suffered infertility throughout their marriage.

St. Hannah, old testament saint

                                                                                   Ven. Maria Louisa 

                                                                   Suffered infertility while married, 

                                                              husband died and she started an 

                                                                order of discalced  Carmelite nuns.

 St. Joachim & St. Anne

St. Elizabeth & Zechariah 

Rachel & Jacob

                                    

                                       Angels appear to Abraham & Sarah

Can you name them?

Bl. Teresa of Calcutta Teaches us to Love

This report came out March 18, 2011 and you may have already seen it, but I thought it such a treasure because Mother Teresa was a treasure to this world.  Mother Teresa is not only an intercessor for adoption but also infertility, let us humble ourselves and ask her for intercession for our needs.

Can I even imagine...

just how much Christ loves me?

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

---

Mary Stevenson, 1936

Be Still and Know That I Am GOD

Partners in a Divine Undertaking?

‎"A man and woman joined in matrimony become partners in a divine undertaking: Through the act of procreation, God's gift is accepted and a new life opens to the future."  ~Pope John Paul II in his encyclical Evangelium Vitae, no. 43

Although, not all of us have the ability to conceive or our challenges are many, we must embrace Jesus throughout. What has helped me is being a part of the Carmelite community, it is good to find community support through the cross.  We are like soldiers of faith who are enduring the imperfections of this world.  Our answers to the question of pain and emotional suffering is to go to Our Lord in all of our weakness and ask for His guidance.  This is a challenge and depending on your health and situation, it may take a while to reach a place of peace.  Continue to pray, and seek God's will for your marriage, and try to find joy in the little things of life.


As the Catechism states below, our openness to life does not always give us children but we can find ways of helping those God sends our way that He calls us to adopt spiritually.  Like the pain that St. Paul talks about a thorn in the flesh this is what we all endure in our cross, but let me tell you when we embrace it with Love then you will find the answers...


2 Cor. 12:8-10   Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.


Your peace may come and go throughout your life but relying on Our Lord is the answer that will get you through all of the many challenges  of married life.  Have peace and hope and you will be free.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2379

The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

Truly, you will find that all your answers that you seek are within Holy Mother Church.  As God spoke to David "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.

Adoption: Heaven's Gift

Looking back on the heartache of infertility, I see that through all the pain and disappointment, God hadn't forgotten us.  by Marlo Schalesky   Read more

Next Article in Series:

• Previous Article
• Next Article

1. Overview
2. Infertility Causes and Treatments
3. The Grief of Infertility
4. Coping With Infertility
5. How Could He Still Love Me?
6. Am I Less of a Man?
7. Adoption: Heaven's Gift
8. Next Steps / Related Information

Thanks Nicole!

Th

Miscarriage-Stillbirth-Pregnancy Loss-Infant Death

Amazon.com:  Empty Arms

• Back In His Arms Again Ministry
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• Catholic Approach to Ectopic/tubal Preg.

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• Catholic Prayers for after Miscarriage

Evie's Network

• Hope for Healing: Miscarriage and the Dignity of the Human Body
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• • How to Help a Woman After a Miscarriage

Info. for Family & Friends


Infant Death


International Stillbirth Alliance

Miscarriage : Prayer and understanding your loss from a catholic perspective

• Miscarriage & Infant Loss Enrollment Book

My Forever Child - unique keepsakes for those touched by the loss of a child

• Naming Your Child after Loss

National Stillbirth Society

National Remembrance Day

• Shrine of Holy Innnocents
• Smallest Wings of Hope
• Stillbirth
• this information below may repeat itself... 

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  Grief Support Websites First Candle- SIDS/Stillbirth National SHARE Office Informational Brochures-National Share Office PLIDA - Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance International Stillbirth Alliance The National Stillbirth Society Miss Foundation Missing Angels Bill-Legislation for Certificates of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth Missing Grace M.E.N.D.-Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death Angel Whispers Broken Hearts, Living Hope Sidelines Pregnancy Support Network-high risk pregnancies Healing Hearts for Bereaved Parents Heavenly Angels In Need GriefWorks Groww Quiet Refuge The M.O.M. Project Guardian Angel Perinatal Support Sharing Parents Hygeia Foundation, Inc. Missing Angel Foundation Infants Remembered In Silence, Inc. SPALS - Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support HAND - Helping After Neonatal Death First Candle Baby Kick Alliance Empty Cradles Sands Amend Counseling For Loss and Life Changes The Forgotten Grief A Child Of Promise Angels In Heaven Ministries Be Not Afraid Caleb Ministires Emmazing Grace Foundation I Spoke With My Child Resources for continuing a pregnancy after a terminal prenatal diagnosis Poor Prenatal Diagnosis Sarah's Laughter Amy's Angels - Helping Familys. Honoring Lives. Mary Madeline Project Bereaved Parent of the USA Silent Grief The Sidney Center Alive Alone Twinless Twins Children's Hospice and Palliative Care Colation Pregnancy Journeys After Loss A Heartbreaking Choice Cailin's Memories Claire's Friends Faith's Lodge God's Tiny Angels Grief and Grace Honored Babies Perinatal Hospice Sleeping Angels The Lost Ones CLIMB - Center for Loss in Multiple Births Hannah's Prayer Ministries Gone So Soon Web Healing Grief Resources Loss Of A Child - Hope For Grieving Parents AGAST - Alliance of Grandparents, A Support in Tragedy Babies Remembered Baby Loss Unexplained Stillbirth Support March of Dimes - Pregnancy and Newborn Loss SIDS - Resources for Bereaved Families Grieving For Babies October 15th-Official Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day Growing Through Affliction Grieve Out Loud  Center for Loss and Trauma Bereavement & Healing Services Infant Funeral & Memorial Service Planning Bereavement Cards and Thank You Notes Sufficient Grace Ministries Wintergreen Press A Place To Remember Healing Hearts Baby Loss Comfort A Small Victory Bears for Bereaved Mommies Hope Exchange Shining Light Fund Secret Club Project Just A Cloud Away Baby Steps My Baby Memorial The Tears Foundation Griefsong Grief Watch Angel Teddy Bear Foundation Fran's Candles Rowan Tree Foundation The Conner Kirby Infant Memorial Foundation The Denton George Brown Foundation-SIDS Awareness Quilt of Memories TLC - National Insitute for Trauma and Loss in Children Perinatal Loss Workshop Cradle of Wings Miscarriages Hurt Men Too Operation Angel - A Miscarriage and Child Loss Ministry Shrine of the Holy Innocents Afghans For Angels Mummy Comfort Angel Names Association The Greatest Blessing Whispered Support To Write Their Names In The Sand Smallest Wings of Hope My Very Own Angel I Will Hold You In My Heart Forever-A Baby Book for Little Angels Message Boards, Support Forums, Discussion Groups Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope Forum for Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope BabyCenter Grief and Loss Bulletin Boards SANDS Forum Daily Strength About.com Miscarriage Miscarriage Help Anencephaly Blessing From Above Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita Support Group Blighted Ovum Support Forget-Me-Not Forum UK Specific Causes Perinatal Hospice National SIDS/Infant Death Resource Center American SIDS Institute The Great Battle Against SIDS SIDS Network Poor Prenatal Diagnosis Preeclampsia Foundation HELLP Syndrome Society Anencephalie Information Congenital Heart Defects National Down Syndrome Society Preeclampsia Foundation SOFT - Support Organization For Trisomy 18, 13, & Related Disorders Trisomy 18 Foundation Paige's Page-Trisomy 18 Center for Loss in Multiple Birth Inc. Multiple Birth Educator The Twin To Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation Moment By Moment -a journey of a premature baby Early Path Medical Consultation Services Facts About Miscarriage International Stillbirth Alliance Protect Your Pregnancy Sidelines - National High Risk Pregnancy Support Network My Molar Pregnancy Carrying To Term A Heart Breaking Choice.com Rachel's Vineyard Minestry-post abortive healing A Trisomy 18 Journey Waiting With Love International Birth Defects Information Systems Anencephaly Info twin2twin Fetal Hope Foundation Trisomy 18 Support Angelman Syndrome Foundation Patau Syndrome 5P- Syndrome Photo Services Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Baby Angel Pics Baby Photo Retouching Service Heartprints Photo Retouching Pencil Portraits by Dana Memorial Pencil Portraits Touching Souls The American Child Photographers Charity Guild Baby Face Illustrations

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